"Honey,baby, did you like that play centre we went to yesterday ?"
"zooom....zooom...."
"sweetiepie, you will be going there from thursday, for a few hours...you will make new friends ! wont u ?"
"zooom...zoooom.....police siren....eeeeyoooo....eeeeyoooo....zooom..."
"listen to me sweetheart, are you sure you want to go there ? will you be able to adjust ? there may not be any of your old buddies there..."
"craaasssshhhhhh.....fire engine....ting ding ding ding...."
"stop it ! i am worried about u....just tell me - you will be comfortable there, wont u ? your new teacher seemed real nice ! i am sure you will have a lot of fun there !"
"dinosaur......grrrrhhhhh....police....eeeyoooo....eeeeyoooo.....superman....zooom....zoooom....is it thurday now ?"
"no, its 3 days from now."
"superman....zoooom.....punch..punch..punch...dinosaur.....aaaaaahhhhh.....ambulance.....teeee....teeee...."
well, so much for my conversation ! and so much for all the prodding to get a yes out of him ! though i am a wee bit apprehensive about his venturing into the new world, i am kind of glad he did not catch up on my anxiety....
but this little conversation (yes, i still insist on calling it that !) did make me wake up to something.
here was i, all worked up over the forthcoming exploits of my kid, but naturally, being a mother and having seen the world, and known it ( well, in parts atleast ), i may be justified in my borderline-paranoid behaviour...
but there was my little guy, enjoying his own little world of here and now, totally oblivious to the dimensions of space and time that awaited him.
what did he care about thursday ? was today thursday ? no ! was now thursday ? no ! was here thursday ? no ! then what the hell man ? whats all the noise about ? we will tackle thursday when we see it ! let me enjoy my here and now, whatever it is called !
i know we cannot afford that kind of thinking always, being in that ubiquitous mindset of adulthood. perhaps we worry a bit too much of what tomorrow will be like, how we will handle the problems that may be, if we will be able to meet our goals, fulfill our dreams, reach our destination, find our love...
and every moment of here and now is thus lost to the quest of the mirage, that of the moment to come...in doing so, we lose out on now, on here, on life.
if only we could adopt the attitude of these kids, and live life to the tune of Que sera sera....
if only we could enjoy what we have with us now, and not worry of whether we still will have it tomorrow...
if only we could love the gifts of life that god has bestowed on us this moment, and not wonder how we will cope when they are snatched away from us....
if only we could make sand castles on the beach, and not be anxious about the waves that may wash it away soon...
if only we could learn to live....here...now....
que sera sera
whatever will be,will be
the future's not ours to see
que sera sera...
